I deeply believe that Nonviolent, Compassionate, Needs-based Communication is the most effective and clear way of communicating.
It’s widely used in international mediations between in-war countries, in social tentions, ghettos, prisons, schools, pre-schools and couple conflict resolution…
Why is it so efficient?
Because it’s very simple. Marshall Rosenberg, who gathered his long-life observations in short guidelines, called the Non-violent communication "the lost language of humankind", "language of life, language of heart".
Why is it so simple ?
Because everyone has a heart, everyone has feelings, everyone has needs. Once we take for sure that every action, every behaviour is a strategy to meet a need, we don’t consider others as enemies but as human beings looking for meeting their needs, exactly as we are used to doing.
The clue ?
The clue is to listen and to emit from heart. No room for interpretations, no judging, no blaming… but deep feeling of acceptance for human wandering, silent listening to other’s underlying needs that other person is probably not fully aware of. It’s to listen to one’s own needs instead of self-judging. See the same needs in others instead of judging, labelling and blaming them.
How does it work in daily situations ?
If you learn this alphabet of silent listening, you will be able to decode any behaviour, any anger, any hostile message. You will get to know that more violent the message is, more likely the person needs to be heard. There will be a quick shift in their behaviour if you listen to the pain underlying their blaming words… And you will certainly be heard since you notice how much the other needs to be heard first.
By listening in silence you can take out pressure from the relationship. You may then notice someone’s feelings and needs and name what you can hear in someone’s words, You will also have the opportunity to say out loud what you can see, and how you feel about the situation, what needs of yours are there, and what is your request.
How to start, how to practice, how to be patient in difficult situations ?
You can learn this attitude as you can learn a language. You can be fluent in the language of Nonviolent Communication, and use it naturally and authentically. I would like to share with you the premises of the language of life – skills and attitude of Needs-based Communication, within one-to-one meetings and Workshops which will be organised since February 2017.
If you’re interested, please have a regular look at www.communicating.life and our FB page, and contact me. There will be workshops in Needs-based communication, both in French and English, from February 2017 in HCMC. It will be a great opportunity to better your communication, to better your life!!
See you soon.